Recently, I discovered that I suffer from migraine headaches, in combination with anxiety.
I didn’t really need a trip to the emergency room to find that out. Apparently, anyone who knows me knows I tend to get a little overwhelmed in threatening, angering, or stressful situations. I like to think I can handle pressure well, and while I tend to still get my work done under pressure, the physical and emotional effects are immobilizing.
The problem is, I don’t express myself very well. And when something angers me, it tends to have a more inward approach, thus I get an “anger attack”. I thought I had coined this phrase myself, and was feeling pretty original until I Googled it and realized there’s been studies about it and its similarities to a panic attack…there are actually more than a few. In fact, the only difference I noticed was that while panic induced fear and anxiety, anger induced violence. Bingo, I thought. That’s me!
I’m generally a peaceful person with a strong aversion to confrontation. However… anger turns me into the Incredible Hulkette, rendering me willing and ready to break any breakables, rip phone books in half, punch holes in walls, and any other violent thing my enraged body and mind sees fit to do. Luckily, my calm inner self seems to talk me down from the ledge of irreversible damage before I throw anything worthwhile, like a television set.
Such a reaction to angering situations, however, is dangerous at best. Because I’m always alone when I suffer such anger, I have the chance to talk myself out of doing anything potentially serious. I worry about what might happen if I were interfered with while in a rage.
Rather than commit myself to a life of straitjackets and mental facilities, however, I’ve started on a quest to not only calm myself more efficiently should I get to this red zone, but also to keep my emotions from getting so jacked up in the first place.
Deep breathing only helps me when I’m not angry anymore (go figure).
My newfound way of dealing with anger is actually rooted in personal development. One of Steven Covey’s Habits of Highly Effective People states that you must be “proactive, not reactive”…and this has become my mantra during stressful and difficult situations. It forces me to identify the root cause of the situation, after which I decide that whatever the root cause is isn’t worth my blood pressure skyrocketing over…and I calm down.
Once my skin isn’t green anymore and my heart isn’t racing through my teeth, I do something that makes me happy: I write, I take a long hot shower, I do a new style to my hair. I might paint my nails or draw a picture. Or I’ll cue up an episode of South Park. By giving my mind and body the attention it needs and fulfilling those requirements of what makes it happy, I generally become much happier and much more able to deal with the incendiary situation (which, by the time I’ve satisfied myself, seems so much more insignificant than it previously seemed).
What about you? Do you have any great stress busting, anger reducing, anxiety deferring techniques or tips?
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