I’m going to get up at 6 in the morning. I’ll use an hour to get dressed, and study until 9. I’ll go to class.
After class I’ll go home and organize my class notes. I’ll get a good head start on my homework. I’ll do all of this until around 6, then spend time with my guy before he goes to sleep. If I’m lucky, I can get a good study in after he hits the hay, if I haven’t already done so.
REALITY
The alarm goes off at 6; I look at it and hit snooze. I sleep until 6:30, then lay awake staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out why on earth I decided to get up so early. At 6:40, I decide 20 extra minutes are better than none and take a final morning nap.
It’s 7. I try getting ready, but as I get dressed I decide to do different things with my hair or put on a new pair of shoes. Then I decide i want makeup. I stop my process to iron my jeans, get my backpack ready. By the time I look up, it’s very close to go time and I’m only done getting dressed. I promise to study after class.
After class I get home and toss my backpack on the floor. I’m starting to get a little sleepy, and my stomach’s been rumbling all day. A little break from the schoolwork won’t hurt, so I fix a quick lunch. Check Facebook. Decide to take a nap, and if I’m actually tired enough I do. Otherwise, I get a caffeinated soda and sit down at the desk to work.
I obsess another 20 minutes over how to organize my school notes. I give up on that subject, check Facebook, check email. Walk around the house for a few minutes, decide the reason I can’t focus is that I’m tired from class and plop in front of the TV. I bring my laptop and notebook and textbook over, and they sit next to me so I can study when I’m ready. I open the books, stare at a few words, decide to call my grandmother.
Jay comes home, and I can’t study because we haven’t seen each other all day. South Park, my favorite show, is on, and there’s no way I’m paying attention to homework when my favorite show is on. I do a few workbook pages, move a few things on the computer, but I don’t pay much attention and I admit that I don’t remember what I’ve read. I insist I have to write to learn, which has no bearing on my complete lack of focus on homework but is something that I like to throw out every once in a while. I suppose it serves as a method of justifying why homework can be such a daunting task.
By the time 11:00pm rolls around, I’ve successfully pussyfooted my way around doing any sort of work and making any real progress. I’ve got an essay due in a week I wanted to start, a few days’ worth of law notes in no real logical order that need attention, and a nice number of pages and activities to do for computer class. I got home around 2 today…in the past 9 hours, I could have accomplished so much. I could have made some real headway. Instead, I sit here feeling guilty that I’ve wasted two perfectly good days in a row.
What is the reason behind my advanced procrastination? Why do I refuse to do homework, which I don’t actually mind doing, in lieu of doing much less productive things?
I wonder…and in the meantime, I’ll get around to starting a homework assignment…just let me check Facebook one more time…
…to be continued
